Today, when I was wasting my life as I normally do, I flipped past American Pickers. It is a show on History about guys who buy junk and antique it (basically). I noticed that they were from a town near where I went to college. They never said what town they were in, but rather things like "Central Iowa" or "Northern Illinois." I thought, "Shit, I know people with a lot of junk. I'll leave this on, and maybe I'll see someone I know." It was a marathon. I left it on while I was reading. By the third episode, I recognized someone my father went to high school with.

I suppose this confirms some sort of stereotype about me being from bumfuck Illinois.

Ben Stiller on the Oscars was some painfully unfunny shit.